How a Car Crash Made Me Rethink Balance, Health, and My Entire Schedule

How a Car Crash Made Me Rethink Balance, Health, and My Entire Schedule

By Ashely Whelan

The Dangerous Narrative of “Busy”

Balance — that elusive word we’re all chasing. I have yet to meet a person who isn’t in pursuit of work-life balance.“How are you?”“Good, just busy.”That seems to be the most common answer I hear from people. In America, I’d even argue that phrase is almost a humble brag.

As a woman who, quite frankly, shouldn’t still be here today, I can tell you that is a dangerous narrative to get trapped in.

The Crash That Woke Me Up

Two years ago, I was driving home with my two children — one under 1 and the other 4 years old. I had spent the 25-minute ride home blasting music and shaking my head to stay awake. It was 3 p.m., for Pete’s sake — why was I so tired?

But deep down, I knew why. I was ignoring my fatigue, convincing myself I just needed to keep grinding away at my job to provide that perfect life for my girls.

Less than five minutes from my house, I crashed into a curb/gutter in my neighborhood. Had I not hit that specific spot, I would have slammed head-on into a tree.

By the grace of God, my children and I were fine. But I totaled the car. Something had to change — but what?

On Paper, I Was Doing Everything Right

At the time, I was eating all the right things, sleeping as well as you can with a baby and a 4-year-old, working out, getting fresh air, connecting with my spouse, living near family, and doing a job that I loved.

On paper, I should have been fine. My health should have been fine.Stick with me — I promise I have a point.

The Pressure to Be “Healthy”

Many of us are trying to live up to society’s idea of “healthy.” As a fitness professional, I’m no different. I’ve always felt the need to lead by example. It would feel negligent to appear like I was slacking — or so I thought.

The truth? My unrealistic expectations nearly cost me my life — and the lives of the two greatest gifts God has given me.

There’s endless advice out there on how to do more. But beyond a few blurbs about meditation, we often forget one critical thing: we need to recharge.

We need to talk more about what it means to fill your own cup.

Where Do You Start?

Here’s a simple exercise to help you evaluate your current balance:

Step 1: Audit Your Day

Write down how much time you spend each day on:

• Work

• Commuting (to work, kids’ activities, errands, etc.)

• Grocery shopping

• Food prep and cooking

• Screen time (phone, TV, reading)

• Sleeping

• Kids’ activities, caregiving, doctor visits

Step 2: Total It Up

Add those hours up.Most of us will find there's very little (or zero) time left over.

Step 3: Create Your Dream Schedule

Now picture your perfect world.

• How would you want to spend your time?

• How much time would you dedicate to each activity?

• Be specific. Dream big. But stay within 24 hours — that part is non-negotiable.

Step 4: Compare the Two Lists

Put your reality and your dream side by side.

• Do you see any low-hanging fruit?

• Have you always wanted to take that Taekwondo class, but “never have time”?

• Are you spending 4 hours a day on screens?

Now you have some data to work with. Start small — finesse your calendar, try one change, and see how it feels. If you leave that day feeling energized rather than overwhelmed, you’ve just taken your first major step toward balance. Celebrate that.

But What If I Truly Have No Spare Time?

I hear you. All of these circumstances are real and valid. That’s why we need to get creative:

• Double up where you can. If your child is in gymnastics, see if there’s a class you can take at the same time.

• Use media intentionally. Download a podcast that makes you laugh, breathe, escape, or reflect.

• Outsource tasks. If you have some financial flexibility, can you:

  • Use a meal prep service?

  • Get groceries delivered?

That hour you would have spent shopping could become 30 minutes of yoga in your garage, a short run, or a quick strength session.

The Power of Perspective

Sometimes it's hard to see solutions in our own lives. So flip the script:Pretend your best friend came to you with your exact schedule and struggles. How would you help her?

Better yet — ask your friend to help you brainstorm. We see the forest much better when we’re not lost in the trees ourselves.

You Are Worthy of Health

You are capable of this. And frankly, everyone in your life wants you to feel valued, healthy, and able to stick around for a long time.

Don’t burn yourself out preparing for some future event like a wedding or class reunion. You are worthy of health every single day — whatever that looks like for YOU.

Don’t Wait for a Wake-Up Call

Wellness will never be cheap, but it will never be a waste of time or money. Take five minutes today to evaluate what you need to recharge — and what needs to change.

Please, learn from my experience. Don’t wait for life to smack you in the face.Start now.Take a small step, no matter how trivial it feels.And do it today.

Ashely and her family

About the Author

Ashely is a personal trainer based in Tampa, Florida, with over 13 years of experience in the fitness industry and a decade as a trainer. Before her career in fitness, she was a dancer in Manhattan — a background that has fueled her lifelong passion for movement and how the body evolves, adapts, and thrives at every stage of life.

Throughout her career, Ashely has worked with a wide range of clients, from children as young as six to adults well into their 90s. She incorporates a variety of tools into her training, including steel maces, Indian clubs, kettlebells, and just about anything that can make movement both functional and fun.

She has a special passion for working with adaptive athletes, as well as pre- and postnatal clients, and anyone ready to discover what their body is capable of. For Ashely, fitness is organized play — a chance to celebrate what our bodies cando, not a punishment for what they can’t.