Beyond the Barbell: How to Reframe a "Bad" Day at the Gym

We all have them. Those days you walk into the gym, and your brain is already telling you it’s going to be a struggle. The warm-ups feel heavy, the motivation is low, and your inner critic is screaming at full volume.

I had one of those days recently. As a psychologist and a lifter, I’m acutely aware of the mental battle that can precede the physical one. Being pregnant has added another layer to this, with several additional barriers between my current training and my old strength numbers.

The script of negative self-talk started playing on a loop:

• I’m so weak compared to my old numbers.

• I don’t have enough time for a full Squat, Bench, and Deadlift day.

• This lift is going to go terribly.

• These warm-ups feel like garbage.

• I don’t know if I can do this.

It's a familiar downward spiral, and it can easily derail a workout—or even our entire relationship with movement. When you're dealing with an injury, a chronic illness flare-up, a bout of depression, or overwhelming life stress, this voice can get even louder.

So, what do you do? You don't lie to it. You don't fight it with toxic positivity. You pivot.

I stopped and asked myself a simple, powerful question:

"Maxing out is one reason I love lifting, but what are my other reasons?"

This question shifts the goalposts. It acknowledges the disappointment without letting it be the only thing that matters. Suddenly, my brain was forced to look for other evidence, to remember the bigger picture.

My "other reasons" included:

• Immediate Benefits: Stress relief and a mood boost, improved sleep quality, and pain relief

• Long-Term Health: Reduced risk of future muscle loss (sarcopenia) and bone density loss (osteopenia).

• Pregnancy-Related Benefits: A reduced risk of gestational diabetes and preeclampsia, as well asa lower risk of postpartum mood disorders.

This isn’t just "thinking positive." This is a powerful psychological tool called Cognitive Reframing.

Cognitive reframing isn’t about pretending a negative thought isn't there. It's about consciously helping your brain consider other relevant, truthful information it may be ignoring in the moment. Notice how I didn't tell myself, "No, you're super strong!" That would have felt like a lie and wouldn't have been productive. Instead, I acknowledged the reality—yes, my numbers are not at their peak right now—and then expanded my focus to include all the other valid, important reasons I was there.

That mental shift changed everything.

Instead of forcing a "full SBD day" that I didn't have the time or energy for, I honored my capacity. I swapped my bench press and deadlifts for some dumbbell and cable variations. And you know what? It was fun! Free from the pressure of hitting specific numbers, I could focus on movement, enjoy the process, and leave with a much better headspace than when I arrived.

All of us are going to have seasons where we aren't at 100%. The goal isn't to avoid these seasons, but to learn how to navigate them with self-compassion. It's about figuring out how to keep taking care of yourself with whatever modifications you need, both physically and mentally.

The next time your inner critic shows up at the gym, try this. Acknowledge the thought, and then ask: What are my other reasons for being here?

You might be surprised by how much strength you find, even when you aren't lifting your heaviest.

Author: 

Vanessa Komarek, PsyD

Licensed Psychologist and Certified Personal Trainer

www.adaptpsych.org

“Building Strength, Inside and Out”

@heavy_lifting_psychologist

 Vanessa Komarek, PsyD

Dr. Vanessa Komarek is a licensed psychologist and certified personal trainer who helps people heal from trauma and find their strength—inside and out. Her work combines evidence-based PTSD therapy with the empowering act of strength training. She is the owner of a trauma-informed group practice in Rochester, NY called Adapt Psychological Services, PLLC.