Fear of Success

I’ve found so much positive through my power lifting practice that I’ve been able to transfer to the rest of my life….success is not linear, adjusting your grip (framework) can give you more power and strength and so much more. 

And here’s my take away from yesterday’s weightlifting season.

Sometimes I am afraid of success.  I’m not sure why. Is it because it begs the question of what comes next? That what is next is only harder and this was pretty hard? That I’m not worthy of success, regardless of level of effort.  Who knows. 

So what happened?

 I simply got into my own  head. Couldn’t focus and didn’t perform as well as I should have. It wasn’t because I wasn’t physically able to. I’ve been putting in the work to get to my goal.  But I think I got scared. I lost focus, my form was lazy.  I let my fear take over, rather then the muscle memory and the part of my brain that controls the mechanics of the lift.  The part that knows what it’s doing with out intellectualizing or over-analyzing 

So where does the leave me?  

First, with tons of gratitude for my trainer, who didn’t let me leave thinking it wasn’t a successful season. So be sure you find a partner or a support who will always tell you that sometimes just showing up is the success. Second, I have a few days until my next session at the gym. I’ll try to give myself some grace and not be my own hardest critic. And finally,  I’ll focus on seeking images in my memory of how good it feels to be successful. And even when it’s scary, it’s doesn’t mean it’s a bad feeling.  

Post script- Rachel did not give up and last week nailed her lift!